by Sal Moriarty
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. Bertrand Russell
Sacred cows make the best hamburger. (attributed to multiple sources)
I regularly see the Dalai Lama referred to as “his holiness”. Best I can tell, he mostly jets around the world on the dimes of millionaires. sometimes doing weird stuff. Often, when I hear glowing and hyperbolic remarks about the (some say) deity, I wonder if he uses the toilet. See, that's my cut off for deities. If you regularly utilize the facilities, I'm going to cast a skeptical eye when you tell me you're the reincarnation of some bigshot from the past. I am but the humble reincarnation of a methadone addict from Loafer's Glory, North Carolina. Don't seem right.
How about L. Ron Hubbard? That's a name, a few decades back, no one would have placed on the level of Saint Paul, Muhammad, or the Buddha in the religion sweepstakes. Don't get me wrong, I am equally skeptical of their pronouncements, but you just don't associate the name Ron with universal truth and enlightenment. That said, at least Scientology's most famous member was in the Top Gun movies. Sure, Daniel in the lion's den is quality storytelling, but he wasn't even an American. Score one for LRH.
No shortage of religions – and the show biz figures they spawn - claiming to know stuff we don't; that said, many enlighteners now days are not overtly attached to specific religions. They offer instruction not in a humble you-might-try-this sort of way, but in a strident this-is-what-you-must-do-to-fix-your-life sort of way. I'm thinking of Dr. Phil and Jordan Peterson types. Books called “Life Code” and “12 Rules for Life”. I tried to give them a look, but excrement kept sticking to my boots.
In some quarters, stoicism is all the rage now. Some elements of stoicism make sense. Control what you can control, and don't get in a tizzy about things you have no control over. However, I read in one book on stoicism, you should react calmly, rationally, when receiving news your entire family has been wiped out in a car crash. They have a word for a person who would react in such a manner – sociopath.
Some say atheism is a religion. Perhaps, depending on the person. If you walk around all day, your atheism foremost in your mind, defining who you are as a human being, well, that sounds like religion to me. I am sometimes called an atheist. When it comes up in conversation, and I casually mention I make no claims of knowing anything I can't possibly know, some downgrade the label to agnostic. Means nothing to me. Those are just words.
In this space, I have been critical of Christianity, but that's only because I live in southeast Texas and can't go to Sonic without encountering people claiming to have The Answers, wanting to pray with me (literally standing beside the road with signs). It's exhausting. I just want a chili dog and tater tots. And a Dr. Pepper.
I assure you if I lived in San Francisco, my high-horse bloviating would sound quite different. They'd almost certainly look on me as some kind of Bible thumping right-winger.
Wherever large groups gather in agreement concerning the unknowable, I stand befuddled. There's only one Great Philosopher I buy into hook-line-and-sinker. Hank Williams. He sang “I'll Never Get Out of This World Alive”.
Other than the Golden Rule - I don't know much more that. And neither does anyone else.
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